haizxc

I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. im such a failure. a failure in everything. results came out, more shitty than i thought. science, fail. gimme some 20% plus only. knn siah. make me fucking study so hard !? english, fail. uh, awesome right !? geog, teacher say alot of failures. surely im fucking one of them. i studied super hard. i memorise everthing i could. end up the results fucking shitty. now i didnt even dare to tell my mom my results. i always try to built up the courage to tell her. but i couldnt bring myself to. why!? why mke me study so hard, and yet everything fail !?

Define friends

@ kpoplover you ok? just tell him to get lost bastard. you can live off a far better life without acknowledging his problems. ill always be here for you!

just get the hell away from me. why must i send it just becos you wan me to? hello? if you go check up life in a dictionary. it does not include me entertaining you. i have much more important things to do than argue with you here. i alrdy told you out of the infinite times i.am.not.going.to.send.it.to.you! so just give up! why is it so important that you have to know every single thing we chat about? i bet youre most prob just jelly much. and i told you. i don like it when ppl see my chats. and its not directed towards you. so dont you be so fking annoyed! through the past times where we fought. its becos of him. why? i once promised myself im not going to fight with a friend becos of a boy. but sometimes cant you just be more understanding? i know i could be gu zhi at times but i have my reasons, my priorities. some friend you are. thanks alot.

i've tried..

i've tried. over and over again to forget you. though first few days were hard, i managed to live past them. the last day when my mind was 90% over you, you came back to me, apologizing, asking for forgiveness. i used to accept those apologies. hoping you would learn from your mistakes. fight, happen every week without fail. there wouldnt be any perfect week. not even once. the cycle of asking for forgiveness came. maybe i gave in too easily. maybe i forgave you too easily. maybe maybe. many maybes. i guess i gave you too many chances. too many chances that made you not cherish them. too many chances.. and i guess it came too easily for you. sometimes, forgetting somebody you onced love, doesnt mean that those memories wouldnt come flooding into your mind one day. it hurts alot thinking. it hurts alot remembering. it hurts so much that thinking of it makes me cry. friends said, it's not worth crying. he doesnt deserve you. part of me agrees. part of me feels confused. i know i do not like him. well, maybe i do. but why cling on him ? i dont know why, i dont know why. he's not worth it..

CRAPPYSHIT

NOW ALL OF THEM ANGRY AT ME -.- siah luh. now become like my fault. why leave me in this type of situation siah !? IM NOT IN THE WRONG LUH ! one angry at me, the other angry at me. what is this !? answer one call also got wrong meh !? knn. i tell you i cannot call got wrong meh!? den you accuse me of texting another guy now. fine, i admit. i did text him. so what ? i ask you on9, you say you cannot go on9. fine, i say nvm. den you call me. i tell you i cannot call. WHAT FUCKING ATTITUDE DID YOU GIVE ME !? you talk until im like a bitch who start texting guys . what are you !? you like more girls than me now, you flirt wif them. what did i say ? at most , jealousy. and now you make me so goddammit pissed off. what did i do wrong again!? nw i find excuses to make him stop texting me. happy enough!? ccb siah. since you have the right toask me stop texting him, i have the right to ask you to stop talking to girls isit !? now, isit fair ? NO RIGHT !? DEN!? dont control others la ! you dont have to budge into other people's life and mess wif it right !? IM TELLING YOU. IM NV GONNA ACCEPT YOU.

I am just a Wall

we were talking the other day. you said that i was a wall. that you feel i was hiding so many things from you. but i deny every fact bout that. lemme tell you. ok. so maybe i was hiding a little. no. i am hiding a lot. so much that you would understand nothing. you would have nvr imagined what had happened to me. like you said. i could have killed someone and you wouldnt know bout it. you dont even understand me. you have no right to call me that. a wall. without emotions. without feeling. without pain. without passion. without love. maybe that was why im so love-stupid. but thats the way i am. take it or leave. don like me? scram. cant except me? scram. scram far far away. so that i don have to talk to you anymore. so that i wont feel so special when you talk to me. so that i wont have to doubt myself. and yesterday. we had a misunderstanding. my friend made me do it. and now? i end up being a liar to you. why? youd rather trust her than me? fine. be that way. ill find my way.

what is this -.-

somehow, we aint fated to know each other. if it's fate, we wouldnt be fighting everyday, every second, every minute. i said im gonna forget you. but you gave me so much to remember. i tried over and over again. but it somehow didnt work for me. you must have saw my status . thats why you started talking to me again. do you even know how much it hurts fighting wif you ? it spoils the day. it spoils the relationship between us. why did everything became like this ? we werent like this before until the day you confessed. and all the fighting had begun. endless.