DAMN

dammit dammit dammit. I JUST CANT GET YOU OFF MY MIND, COULD I !? why ? why must you always be there ? trying to forget you. but just those memories of us, it just keeps flooding back ! damn. i nid someone to brainwash me. i just want to get run over by a car, get a head concussion and forget you ! i just gotta control myself. but why!? I CANT GET MYSELF TO DO THAT. i kept reading our messages , our convos on facebook. sometimes, i just smile to myself. den you will be back into my head. damn ! why !? just fucking go to her and forget me ! you are obviously playing favoritism ! you can actually tell her " tell me if she scolds you. i help you scold her back " damn ! you are protecting her. damn. my best friend, you like her. now i beginning to suspect her. she actually told you that i plan to scold her ? motherfuckingcb. you listened to her !? HOW COULD YOU !? this is unfair. my friends told you to fuck off, all because you kept disappointing me and making me cry. they dont wanna see me being like that anymore. and you actually told me that you cant try to shake me off because you liked me too much ? you know what ? im actually kinda happy that i didnt accept you. im glad i didnt ! because you like me and you like my best friend . thats obviously wrong ! it's total bullshit man. i know. after a few days, you will be back to me. but what will i get ? nothing. just an apology and " iloveyou " you obviously still like her ! you are obviously making use of me when you're bored ! i know. i already know you were making use of me. but what did i do ? i let you make use of me. because i know im already starting to fall for you again. i rather she not even borned ! why !? why is everyone going to her !? why !? she's not even fucking little pretty. she's not ! fine, im vain. i want everything to myself. but isnt that what every girl wants !?it's always breaking inside me whenever you tell me bout her. but i didnt show it. i didnt wanna let you know that im jealous. im jealous of her . so what !? im always stealing guys from her. so what !? i dont want her to get everything. it's unfair. it's unfair to me ! im always working hard for things. but she can sit there and do nothing, do unglam stuffs and people can go to her. im always watching my actions. im always watching my moves. what did i get ? NOTHING. NOTHING IN RETURN. i always hope you know how i feel. but you didnt know i have a blog. and sometimes, im glad you didnt know. other times, i hope you actually just pay some attention on me instead of her !