Happily Never After

FK THAT B!TCH! HOW CAN U IMAGINE ANYONE THATTHAT...MEAN?! YEAP THATS THE WORD. PURE DEVIL-NESS! THIS BIRD-NEST-BRAIN GIRL IN OUR CLASS! ok, so i told you i dropped my phone into the toilet right? so from then on i scared bring my phone into the toilet. than got one time me and that woman go toilet together i ask her help me take my phone when she wait outside. more than half a month passed. my guy friend said that he mysteriously had two of my photos. he show me. IT WAS FREEKING MY OWN PRIVATE ZI PAIS ON MY PHONE! no one saw those photos except for my two girlfriends in class. one is my bestie the other is that woman. so i ask the guy friend and found out. that stupid woman. cheng when i was in the toilet. use my phone to send photos to him thro my gmail. (we have wifi in our toilet XD) so all along my guy friend have received emails with my photos sent from my account. -.-

Soccer game

YAWW BABEE (: havent updated since a while. we went to some field in tainan city and played soccer for almost 3 days. (no class SHIOK but damn bored cos i don rlly kick ball so i just went there to watch and help look after our bags) GUESS WHAT HAPPENED AT THE GAME? ppl got injured AGAIN -.- this is why i hate soccer. someone broke his right wrist just by doing warm-ups on the first day. another someone twisted his left ankle after the first game. and another someone twisted his right ankle and hurt his left knee on the second day. and another someone i think pulled a muscle or nerve or smth while he skidded all the way into the goal and scored our first goal. u might think its worth it since it was like our only goal in 3 games (we lost rlly badly XD) but lemme tell you ITS NOT ONE BIT WORTH IT! I HATE YOU FOR DOING THAT TO ME! got me so worried >< yesterday my bestie came over for sleepover and we kinda talked too much-- SHE talked too much XD dude! i was like PLS LEMME SLEEP @@ and she just kept on waking me but  gave up at about 11 and went to play with her phone till 1130 XD WE HAD FUN~~ nowadays quite bored ah no hw cos didnt have much class and i cant rlly go on skype too early to chat cos of my freeking dad -.- i was like searching for random sheet music and song lyrics and some rlly nice quotes. wanna share a couple of them which i rlly liked:
"If you're going to make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears."
"Everyone's going to hurt you, you've just got to find the ones worth suffering for."
" The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in."
" Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him."
"Sometimes it's better to leave things broken, because if you try to fix it, you may end up getting hurt all over again."
"Roses are Red, 
Violets are Blue, 
Who cares what color the flower is, 
as long as it's from you."

MY LIFE (;

AN EARLY BIRTHDAY PRESENT FROM MY MOM ! (;

a bag i so wanted long time ago. brought from bugis street. ZINC shop. cost about $45 bucks. the guy gave discount. paid $40 bucks (; awesome shop xD

HEHE, my birthday (; 9 more days to go and counting down ! <3 I WONDER WHAT MY CLIQUE BROUGHT ME :P cant wait for my birthday ! ;D and i have a feeling that on my birthday, im gonna cry while receiving all those pressies :P hahaha. 9 more days and to my birthday. 9 more days and im gonna be one year older. haiz ); hate getting old even im like still young now ._. hahaha. and 9 more days to my BIRTHDAY BASH ;D anyway, hope life's been treating you well lollipop ! ;D keep smiling !


ps : i hope he really gives me a present on my birthday ): i hope it wouldnt be any empty promises ):


quote for the day ! so, love your friends (; because they are the best people in the world. even if some of them ever betrayed you, dont be sad (; there's still so many other friends worth crying for. dont be angry at those enemies you got, dont even give a damn bout them (; just keep smiling (; they hate to see those smile on your faces. so, SMILE MORE ! (; MAKE THEM PISSED ;D

(; HEYLO.

@ lollipop : chill dearest. (; what's up wif her ? and okay, i dk if the her im talking bout and the her you're talking about are the same ;X so, nvm (; i know you're pissed. but, just chill (;

and yo ! sorry for not posting for the past few times (; was busy wif school. okay, not say really busy. but cuz exam coming. and im like lazy on computer. yes (; you read that right. 'IM LAZY TO ON THE COMPUTER' hahahahaah. it's friday and there's no school because there's speech day and all the sec 4s and 5s will be in school taking their certificates or something. yeap. actually, i can go luh. but like, one sec2 there extra extra one :P hahaha. and im coughing real bad and i keep eating that damn strepsils. and i end up keep relying on the strepsils. LOL. i dont wanna go speech day because of my cough. it's like some serious event. den skali ltr i end up coughing and coughing. den everyone look at me, damn paiseh :P hahah. okay, so many things bout me and him (; alot of people ask me uh, like why i like him. so i end up replying all of them " if you were me, you'd know why . because i cant put it into words to explain to you " (; so, hahaha. even the teachers know. yeap. and my maths teacher came to talk to me. she asked me again if im with him and so on. and i keep denying obviously. den she told me like, about his behavior in class isnt really doing well. so i got to kinda like have a friend to friend talk wif my teacher (; and, practically i think the whole school know bout me and him. yes, and i meant the whole school. except for some of the teachers of course (;  so everytime when we hang out outside my class at bout the last 20 mins of our recess, we will be like sitting outside my class, okay. holding hands. yes, holding hands. haha. and i swear, a few minutes ltr, the 3rd and 4th level will have students standing at the railings looking towards me and him. and thats when the " oohhh ~ " and " ahhs " began. hahahah. okay so.., we kinda had a fight yesterday. i forgot what's the fight about. but he sent me to the interchange and while waiting for the bus OUTSIDE SCHOOL, he put his arm around my shoulder, den he hug me. yes, he took advantage :P hahahahha. den i was like " EHH YOU ! TAKE ADVANTAGE :P " hahaha. yeap, and today we both good mood (; hahah. and we both seem to be running out of topics to talk bout. so we start saying " what you doing " damn boring ._. but i still love him (; okay, i swear. i cant stop listening to FANTASTIC BABY everytime i on the computer. haha. i even vandalised my school table. and i wrote " fantastic baby " now im like singing " i wanna dance dance dance dance dance ~ wow, FANTASTIC BABY " woohoo. and i seem to have a headache. haha. i guess i slept too late and woke up too early. actually also not that late lo. like 1130, den woke up at 8. lol. okay, gtg do my elearning. BYE ~ (; will post pictures afterwards (;

Even technology fails

hihi okay so it seems like theres something wrong with my whole posting process and im supposed to like have posted 2 posts so far but nothing came out so im too lazy to type everything again so im just gonna lay out the main points i hav made in my 'previous posts': BIGBANG+SHINEE=24/7 <3 woots youre my fantastic baby and sherlock (clue+note) *shinees back* but right now im more in love with another guy called MARIO MAURER hes the main character in this thai movie that our math teacher showed us during class time (shiok right?) damn shuai~ oh oh btw go check out 'glad you came [hassy]' on youtube i likey <3 just as how much i like tops blue hair~ (and im finally learning my lesson this time so i have alrdy copied this entire thing so when it doesnt post again i can just paste ^^ smart right? XDD)
i am officially starting my post this time...lemme start off by saying... fuck! srsly i just feel like swearing and crying my heart out now and dying due to anger. okok this is meh messed up story of my life today. is his bdae. so its suppose to be happy and all until. she. she went flipping thro my bag and digging almost every single thing out and messing up everything early in the morning. than she found it. the card. i only promised my other friend to let her see the cover of the card. i didnt even give her permission to look into the contents of the card. and guess what? same old story of the book. some kay po. that she. just went *read* aww you even said *and blabs out the contents of the card to the whole class* -.- does she not have common sense? does she have an analysising prob? didnt i just not mention it first thing in the morning i don wan anyone to read the card beside the pax who it was meant for? so there. two things. wait actually three things im mad at. first that she looking into my bag and looking at the card without my permission. second ok fine so maybe you might say whats the matter? the contents doesnt rlly mean anything either doesnt mean you can go invading into ppls privacy just to find something that 'uninteresting' (thats one reason too. make it a 4. thats so mean? this card means a lot to me and maybe you dont know that or prob youre just jelly much i bet. thats still no excuse to say that!) and didnt even apologise for it. third after that than going on and saying the contents to the class. and you even made it like a matter of fact what you did was right and how i was behaving so madly was wrong. i swear i just wanted to crush you that instant. and after that when he ordered drink for me. i thank you for telling him what i dont drink so he could order the right drinks that i liked. but after that even if i promised when you asked if you could a little of my drink (mainly out of courtesy not our friendship or so called friendship) you just went drinking like a..a..no word to describe that was like..you drank almost over half of the entire 1000cc drink! great~ what a perfect day~ fml.

HELLO (:

@ lollipop : HAHAHA. IDK (: waiting though. hehe. waiting for somebody. haha. that somebody.., you know luh. (: haha. im not wif the other guy. he tell other people he dont want stead wif me -.-

so, HEHE. so long didnt go online ready ;D wasw enjoying life. haha. and OMG. big bang new awesome song !! FANTASTIC BABY <3 obsessed wif that song man ! FREAKING BLOODY AWESOME. and blues. (: SHINee has new songs too ! UNDER SHERLOCK ALBUM. hehe. but im more obsessed wif sherlock. WOOHOO. big bang and SHINee, back and rocking the stageee ~ ! xD

Time to Change that Relationship Status

@kpoplover WAAAAIITTT? PAUSE THAT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY YOURE GOING TO BE WITH SOMEONE ELSE SOON? MSN SOON PLEASEE!
haha we just had our NIFTy debate competition today~ and it kinda sucked... XDD idk for our first round but we lost our second round. but for the entire junior varsity team we were co-winners. and for the varsity team we lost to TAS :((( oh well~ we won last year so~ XDD NANKE BD STILL ROCKS 24/7!~ <3

He will one day understand.

Now he's back. And I realized. He's like my drug. I'm always addicted to texting him. Den now. I'm about to be in a relationship with another guy. He tells me he wouldnt be talking to me anymore. All of them told me. I can't have 2 guys in my life at the same time. Why? It's like twilight. Bella likes jacob and Edward. Jacob's a guy who always back her up when she's not okay. She wants both Jacob and Edward. But she can live without Jacob but not Edward. I can live without both guys. But I would chose to be with him. But yet i don't want to be in a relationship with him. Den what exactly do i want!? You said I treated you like a tool More like the other guy's a tool. He's a tool to make you jealous. He's a tool To make you forget me and go to her. He's a tool For me. I did everything for you. FOR YOU. But you couldn't see it. If only you could read my mind. Like how Edward Cullen read other people's mine.

mang lai mang qu de

this few days damn busy sia. got nifty debate competition coming up in like 5 days. world scholars cup coming in less than a month. midterms coming up in a months plus. than later got finals follow up. than end of this year still got theory exam. and then still got more jian dings, SSATs, PreSATs, SATs, APs, MUN to take in future plus piano. god ah save me ah~ and than these few days i feel so mean and guilty. somehow i tend to throw my temper on my friends more frequently. ignoring people who care abt me. taking my parents care for granted. taking my teachers for granted. i guess i must look like a real spoilt bitch right now. im so srry, i rlly am, its just im so stressed up right now, i dont know what to do, what to feel. everythings happening in a rush and i just start to doubt every detail, everyone. its just sucks more that we are dissecting pigs in life science lab! and some crazy teacher is too stupid to understand when i told him not to mark my wb chapter 8 becos im not done with it yet! W.H.Y.

DAMN

dammit dammit dammit. I JUST CANT GET YOU OFF MY MIND, COULD I !? why ? why must you always be there ? trying to forget you. but just those memories of us, it just keeps flooding back ! damn. i nid someone to brainwash me. i just want to get run over by a car, get a head concussion and forget you ! i just gotta control myself. but why!? I CANT GET MYSELF TO DO THAT. i kept reading our messages , our convos on facebook. sometimes, i just smile to myself. den you will be back into my head. damn ! why !? just fucking go to her and forget me ! you are obviously playing favoritism ! you can actually tell her " tell me if she scolds you. i help you scold her back " damn ! you are protecting her. damn. my best friend, you like her. now i beginning to suspect her. she actually told you that i plan to scold her ? motherfuckingcb. you listened to her !? HOW COULD YOU !? this is unfair. my friends told you to fuck off, all because you kept disappointing me and making me cry. they dont wanna see me being like that anymore. and you actually told me that you cant try to shake me off because you liked me too much ? you know what ? im actually kinda happy that i didnt accept you. im glad i didnt ! because you like me and you like my best friend . thats obviously wrong ! it's total bullshit man. i know. after a few days, you will be back to me. but what will i get ? nothing. just an apology and " iloveyou " you obviously still like her ! you are obviously making use of me when you're bored ! i know. i already know you were making use of me. but what did i do ? i let you make use of me. because i know im already starting to fall for you again. i rather she not even borned ! why !? why is everyone going to her !? why !? she's not even fucking little pretty. she's not ! fine, im vain. i want everything to myself. but isnt that what every girl wants !?it's always breaking inside me whenever you tell me bout her. but i didnt show it. i didnt wanna let you know that im jealous. im jealous of her . so what !? im always stealing guys from her. so what !? i dont want her to get everything. it's unfair. it's unfair to me ! im always working hard for things. but she can sit there and do nothing, do unglam stuffs and people can go to her. im always watching my actions. im always watching my moves. what did i get ? NOTHING. NOTHING IN RETURN. i always hope you know how i feel. but you didnt know i have a blog. and sometimes, im glad you didnt know. other times, i hope you actually just pay some attention on me instead of her !

haizxc

I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. im such a failure. a failure in everything. results came out, more shitty than i thought. science, fail. gimme some 20% plus only. knn siah. make me fucking study so hard !? english, fail. uh, awesome right !? geog, teacher say alot of failures. surely im fucking one of them. i studied super hard. i memorise everthing i could. end up the results fucking shitty. now i didnt even dare to tell my mom my results. i always try to built up the courage to tell her. but i couldnt bring myself to. why!? why mke me study so hard, and yet everything fail !?

Define friends

@ kpoplover you ok? just tell him to get lost bastard. you can live off a far better life without acknowledging his problems. ill always be here for you!

just get the hell away from me. why must i send it just becos you wan me to? hello? if you go check up life in a dictionary. it does not include me entertaining you. i have much more important things to do than argue with you here. i alrdy told you out of the infinite times i.am.not.going.to.send.it.to.you! so just give up! why is it so important that you have to know every single thing we chat about? i bet youre most prob just jelly much. and i told you. i don like it when ppl see my chats. and its not directed towards you. so dont you be so fking annoyed! through the past times where we fought. its becos of him. why? i once promised myself im not going to fight with a friend becos of a boy. but sometimes cant you just be more understanding? i know i could be gu zhi at times but i have my reasons, my priorities. some friend you are. thanks alot.

i've tried..

i've tried. over and over again to forget you. though first few days were hard, i managed to live past them. the last day when my mind was 90% over you, you came back to me, apologizing, asking for forgiveness. i used to accept those apologies. hoping you would learn from your mistakes. fight, happen every week without fail. there wouldnt be any perfect week. not even once. the cycle of asking for forgiveness came. maybe i gave in too easily. maybe i forgave you too easily. maybe maybe. many maybes. i guess i gave you too many chances. too many chances that made you not cherish them. too many chances.. and i guess it came too easily for you. sometimes, forgetting somebody you onced love, doesnt mean that those memories wouldnt come flooding into your mind one day. it hurts alot thinking. it hurts alot remembering. it hurts so much that thinking of it makes me cry. friends said, it's not worth crying. he doesnt deserve you. part of me agrees. part of me feels confused. i know i do not like him. well, maybe i do. but why cling on him ? i dont know why, i dont know why. he's not worth it..

CRAPPYSHIT

NOW ALL OF THEM ANGRY AT ME -.- siah luh. now become like my fault. why leave me in this type of situation siah !? IM NOT IN THE WRONG LUH ! one angry at me, the other angry at me. what is this !? answer one call also got wrong meh !? knn. i tell you i cannot call got wrong meh!? den you accuse me of texting another guy now. fine, i admit. i did text him. so what ? i ask you on9, you say you cannot go on9. fine, i say nvm. den you call me. i tell you i cannot call. WHAT FUCKING ATTITUDE DID YOU GIVE ME !? you talk until im like a bitch who start texting guys . what are you !? you like more girls than me now, you flirt wif them. what did i say ? at most , jealousy. and now you make me so goddammit pissed off. what did i do wrong again!? nw i find excuses to make him stop texting me. happy enough!? ccb siah. since you have the right toask me stop texting him, i have the right to ask you to stop talking to girls isit !? now, isit fair ? NO RIGHT !? DEN!? dont control others la ! you dont have to budge into other people's life and mess wif it right !? IM TELLING YOU. IM NV GONNA ACCEPT YOU.

I am just a Wall

we were talking the other day. you said that i was a wall. that you feel i was hiding so many things from you. but i deny every fact bout that. lemme tell you. ok. so maybe i was hiding a little. no. i am hiding a lot. so much that you would understand nothing. you would have nvr imagined what had happened to me. like you said. i could have killed someone and you wouldnt know bout it. you dont even understand me. you have no right to call me that. a wall. without emotions. without feeling. without pain. without passion. without love. maybe that was why im so love-stupid. but thats the way i am. take it or leave. don like me? scram. cant except me? scram. scram far far away. so that i don have to talk to you anymore. so that i wont feel so special when you talk to me. so that i wont have to doubt myself. and yesterday. we had a misunderstanding. my friend made me do it. and now? i end up being a liar to you. why? youd rather trust her than me? fine. be that way. ill find my way.

what is this -.-

somehow, we aint fated to know each other. if it's fate, we wouldnt be fighting everyday, every second, every minute. i said im gonna forget you. but you gave me so much to remember. i tried over and over again. but it somehow didnt work for me. you must have saw my status . thats why you started talking to me again. do you even know how much it hurts fighting wif you ? it spoils the day. it spoils the relationship between us. why did everything became like this ? we werent like this before until the day you confessed. and all the fighting had begun. endless.

the forgotten ;D

FINALLY, i set my mind to forget you. sometimes, i just hope to get run down by a car, forget bout my past, and start  a new life (: so that i wun have to think bout those heartbreaking relationships. you asked me if i missed you today. i gave it a hard thought. maybe i miss you, well. do i ? no. actually i dont. i didnt want to hurt your feelings. so i said a little more yes to no. honestly speaking, i got sick of all these. i didnt like you anymore. but talking to you just make me feel like so damn happy . it's awesome knowing you, though some people doesnt like it, though some people just fucking wanna bitch around and doesnt like you walking past my class everytime. but i dont wanna care. the last msg i texted you was at 12. and until now you didnt reply. well, so what ? i dont give a damn. you wanna reply, you reply. duwanna reply, so be it. when i reply you late , you accuse me. when you reply late, i dont say anything. thats totally unfair. it's all in the past already. nvm (: i letting go of this matter. im forgetting you . im setting my mind to do this and i dont care if you can do so. 

i just wanna sleep and wake up tmr, hoping everything was just a dream.

you make me so sacred, make me feel so darn-right paranoid. i dont reply you, and you assume i was like fucking talking to other guys ? wtf -.- you were the one replying me late first okay. stop blaming everything on me now ! it's just so miserable. why ? out of all the girls, WHY ME ? everyone says it's cool having an upper sec liking you. crap man ! it's MISERABLE when he doesnt wanna give up. what's your problem ? keep asking me to be your girlfriend ? what fuck siah ? you think i'm gonna accept you that easily ? i duwanna hurt you. i dont like telling people straight in the face like , " just goddamit, give up on me ! i dont like you. hello ? it's my streaming year this year ! it's not important to you, but it's fucking important to me ! " yeah, QUEEN OF EXCUSES. that's me. so what ? everytime, seriously. there wun be any perfect week ! every week, we will always be fighting over the same thing over and over again -.- what is this ?! you think i'm just somebody who you can dump when you dont want to play anymore ? and suddenly stop talking to me, den ltr a few days, re-appear again -.- seriously man. fuck off. like damn, go away ! i dont want to have a boyfriend now ! i dont want to. it just got boring for me. BORING . okay ? get that word right. yeah, you said, i'm the ideal girl you want. hey, get it right ! you AINT the ideal guy i want. i kept hinting you. trying to say that , just give up on me. but you wouldnt ! and end up, you're gonna start blaming everything on me again. and it's gonna seem like it's all my fault. i said ! you can continue being your little admirer. but, i duwan to stead wif you ! okay ? i duwan to stead wif you ! shit. i feel like saying all this to you . right now. IN YOUR FACE. wei, dont think you gangster and you can get what you want okay. i'm all acting it out wif you okay ? ( although it's kinda not true sometimes ._. ) i swear. you are one scary bastard .

OH HEY. YOU KNOW WHAT ?

you know what ? you suck. my life was perfect until you went into it to destroy it. ohh so, the first minute, you are fighting wif me, saying how bitch i was, and the nxt minute you're apologizing ? who do you think you are ? and who do YOU think i am ? who ARE you to judge me ? so, you're wanting me back so badly now ? well, get this right. i'm not your toy. you dont play wif me when you want to. you dont throw me aside when you feel like it. you dont vent your anger on me when your day isnt right. when you make me angry, you dont say " i love you " . let me tell you. it doesnt help at all. you dont make me happy by saying those 3 words. yes, they are easy to say it out. but how many percent are you using your heart to say it sincerely ? i will help you answer them , NONE. go on, tell others how bitchy i can be, go. yeah. keep spreading rumors bout me. you dont come back and tell me how sorry you are, wanting me to accept you again. you know what ? i cant believe i actually once liked you. i cant believe i ever did. hey. dont mess up my life. i dont need you to survive. i CAN survive on my own. because you went out of control, i dont know you anymore. seriously, who ARE you ? you aint that guy i once met and once liked anymore. </3 you are now, out of my heart. 

(;

AWW. sorry for not posting really long (: DAMN. tmr school reopen. SAD ! ): NO SLEEPING LATE ANYMORE ! but fun uh go school. hehe. go meet up wif friends . LOL. i havent finish my homework somemore. LOL. pathetic only. hahaha.waking up at 6 tmr. 6 ! GOSH. i dont even know if i can sleep early today, since im used to sleeping at 11:30 every night during holidays. must switched bck to SCHOOLING MOOD. hahaha. gtg pack my school bag ! (: BYEE ;D